Yesterday, I was finishing a kickass yoga session when the instructor asked us to do Virasana, a pose I normally can hold without blocks for no other reason that I’m super flexible (thanks mom for the good genes). On that day, the pose was not quite right and I knew I needed a block, but I refused to reach for it. My knees be damn.
And then at some point, probably as my butt was going numb, it hit me. Why the heck was I not going for the block? “Is this how you live life? Refusing to get help? To give in to ease? You like things difficult and painful?”
One of the key goals of yoga, simply put, is to achieve freedom. Asana, the physical practice itself, the poses, are a vehicle to that. Mastery of the pose is secondary to mastery of the self. Period.
Guys, I reached for that block super freaking fast because I’m committed to living in ease.
Not a second had passed that I started ruminating. As I pondered on my fierce commitment to flow, I also gave myself a mental flogging for not being aware enough to reach for the block before needing it.
A second Aha! moment slapped my brain: The funny thing about such a commitment is that it soon becomes a shore. The moment it becomes a shore you lose that delicious promise of freedom.
You are committed to living in the flow, in ease and start taking actions towards it. Next thing you know, you are freaking out, ditching your friends at the bar so you can run home to get your meditation in before midnight. Catch 22, anyone?
Not so fast, I say. This block incident had a third stage. Compassion. First, I wanted to make things harder for me. Then, I eased into the flow while also feeling guilty for not doing it sooner. Finally, I forgave myself. For I am. Just. Human.
So next time you forget to reach for the block, recommit yourself to the flow. And remember to forgive yourself for the shatter that happened in between the two steps. Freedom will follow.